Star Signs

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. Everyone thinks you can be very annoying.

PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 20)

You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence over your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are kind of a wimp.

ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 19)

You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You can be a real meany.

TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20)

You are practical and persistent. You have dogged determination and work like crazy. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are secretly a Communist.

GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 20)

You are quick and intelligent and a thinker. People like you because you like to test the waters before you dive in. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. You tend to withhold your emotions and your money.

CANCER (Jun 21 - Jul 22)

You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They think you are spineless. You are an excellent procrastinator. That is why you will always need a better job and still won't have money in the bank.

LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22)

You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leo people tend to steal from others and kiss mirrors a lot.

VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22)

You are the logical type and hate disorder. This is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while being romanced. Virgos make good professional closet organisers.

LIBRA (Sep 23 - Oct 22)

You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. Chances for employment and monetary gain are excellent. Both Libra men and women make good interior designers and marry often.

SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21)

You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpio people are plagued by lawsuits or jail sentences when the people they took advantage of vow revenge.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have little talent. The majority of Sagittarians enjoy escapism. People laugh at you a lot because you're always getting burned.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 19)

You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chicken. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You may as well bury your head in the sand.