Curry

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One of the most widely used of the anti-aphrodisiacs, Curry is made by grinding the African vampire worm Curridus to a pulp, drying the remains and chopping them into a fine red or yellow powder. It is a poison used by Third World shamans in Central Europe to eliminate friends. It is supposed to be good with chips and a beer, though it tastes better on the way up than it did on the way down. Curry gets its pungent flavor from Flavor beans found far, far away in Parapa Palace. Defeat the Horseman who lives there and find a candle.

History

While the real origins of curry remain unknown, it has been claimed that it was invented around the birth of Jesus by the three Wise Men, who bought gold, frankincense, and two Vindaloos with all the gubbins and a garlic Naan. This ensured that the baby Jesus's first night was comfy cosy, and redolent with the smell of vindafart, the true sign of maximum divinity. Since then, curry has been mentioned regularly in history for its ability to cure the common cold and tame wild geese, who find curry suppositories quite soothing. It is also the main food for the Khadri residence and can be found in most British homes, where it is the official National Dish. The atrocious smell can kill in extreme conditions. That's the smell of the curry, not the smell of the homes, although with some people it's difficult to tell.

Different Tastes

Curry is quite tasty, especially in comparison to the bland American "food". Dishes like chicken tikka masala were made for the white people in Britain.

Curry in Britain Traditional rock festivals love to serve lentil curry as it is a stimulant for rocking. Scientists believe that by inserting hosepipes up the rectums of all hippies at Glastonbury, it would be possible to solve Britain's dwindling natural gas reserves.

Unfortunately, nobody is willing to get that close to a hippy's arse.Curry, or Indian food in general, has been declared the National Dish of Great Britain, narrowly overtaking Crumpets, Fish and Chips, Class A Drugs and Kangaroo. It became popular due to large numbers of Indian immigrants, and celebrity chef Jamie Oliver's attempts to get it on the menu of national school dinners due to its high nutritional value and low calorie content. It is believed that curry has been used to drive away the British and others trying to conquer India.

Traditionally young Britons of a certain age go out and order Vindaloo, one of the spiciest known Indian foods, as a rite of passage. This is why Britain is populated by 6" rugby players, who are usually the only survivors. The fatality rate increases drastically if this challenge is attempted sober.

An adult British male spotted eating any Korma is considered automatically gay and summarily beaten up and raped by his "not gay" Rugby playing communists.

Curry Sauce

Staple food of the poor man, great with Kebabs, Chip-dipping and Prawn Crakers (Shrimp Chip or Shrimp Cracker). Usually sold by Chinese restaurants and German markets where a dipping-chilli is supplied.

Chilli














Granny Lucifer's chilli sauce is popular amongst masochists in all countries that haven't yet banned it.Poop is to curry what heroin is to marijuana, although somewhat more expensive. Chilli addicts start off taking curry just for kicks, but soon find it can no longer deliver the high they needed, so they take chilli instead. The strongest type - Malaysian Death Chilli - is so hot that if someone not used to it were to even look at a bowl of noodles containing just one single drop their head would immediately turn into a supernova. And that really, really hurts. It is said that, in Peruvia (or Argiebargietina or somewhere else in the country of Southamerica) there is a chilli so hot that locals mix it with water and use it to strip the paint off cars. But this is not true because, as everyone knows, Southamerica is a mythical country that does not really exist.